Weekending

Just because Flavio and I are married doesn't mean we can't date other people. We both dated other people this weekend. Okay, just kidding. We went out with new couple-friends! Ask for couple-friends, and you shall receive. 

On Friday, our first date was to a craft beer fest. It was a group outing with a few singles and some couples and everyone made fun of me for dressing like I was going to the Arctic. I had the last laugh - the festival was mostly outside and it was freezing. After many a tasting, we were all too sloshed to notice the cold. A hilarious and enjoyable night.

{beer tasting}

Dogs don't care how much you've had to drink the night before, and at 6am on Saturday we were met with this face:

{Guiri ready to play}

Saturday morning I joined our new neighbor friends on an outing to dog beach. We recently met these neighbors walking Guiri by their house. They are a fun couple and I appreciate that they invite us to drink in their backyard while our dogs play.

Saturday night we went on our second date, also a blast. These nice friends have an Australian shepherd, too and we know them through a mutual friend. We all met up at the dog park and went for dinner and drinks after with the pooches in tow. A totally delightful evening with our new friends. :)

{Guiri and Oslo out to dinner. Photo by Erin.}

Sunday we relaxed with brunch, movies and had happy hour at home. I made these ginger sparklers. Yum.

{Sunday. Ginger bubbles.}

We feel lucky to have met some great new people recently. A fun weekend indeed.

On Being Busy

Yesterday morning my friend posted this NY Times essay, The 'Busy' Trap, on her Facebook page.

The timing couldn't have been better. As spring break comes to an end, I've been anxious and my mind's been racing: There are student letters of recommendation to write, colleagues to email, lessons to plan, papers to grade. I haven't done enough this week! I feel guilty writing in my blog right now - there is laundry to fold, appointments to make. Flavio is working this Saturday, which makes me feel like I should be "doing my part", working on all those teaching tasks, and getting stuff done around the house - contributing. My husband never makes me feel like I should be doing more. Instead, he's always telling me to slow down, relax and enjoy my break. But part of me can't help but feel guilty when I'm not busy. There's the trap: I hate being busy, but feel bad if I'm not.

This last part of The 'Busy' Trap resonates, 

"I did make a conscious decision, a long time ago, to choose time over money, since I’ve always understood that the best investment of my limited time on earth was to spend it with people I love. I suppose it’s possible I’ll lie on my deathbed regretting that I didn’t work harder and say everything I had to say, but I think what I’ll really wish is that I could have one more beer with Chris, another long talk with Megan, one last good hard laugh with Boyd. Life is too short to be busy."

I made a conscious decision to pursue teaching so I too could choose time over money. As I wrote in this post, teaching mostly lets me stay out of the busy trap. It's a seasonal business, which allows for an off-season of idleness where I get to take long walks, drink wine with lunch, daydream and stargaze. This spring break has been languid and lazy. And after reading Kreider's fantastic essay, I am going to make a conscious choice to keep most of the upcoming weekend unstructured and idle, and instead of feeling guilty, focus my energy on the present, and the necessary space a weekend brings. I have some fun plans ahead - like a beer festival tonight, dog beach with our neighbor, drinks with some new friends, Sunday brunch. But for the rest of the time I'll be totally relaxing, not trapped, but free. :)

Happy weekend. xo

{Image by Brecht Vandenbroucke from The 'Busy' Trap}

Financial Fast 2013 - Reflecting

I spent the morning spring cleaning. Getting rid of things is such a satisfying feeling, don't you think?

After blogging about our Lenten Financial Fast for the past month and a half, it's time to bring some closure to the subject - at least for this year. I've held off on blogging about the fast because I wasn't sure how to adequately describe it. What I've come up with is this: It was honestly one of the best experiences for us as a couple, and for me personally. I know that sounds melodramatic. I mean, how could not buying non-essentials for 40 days be one of someone's "best experiences"? Here's how: Not shopping, not thinking about shopping, not spending time in the mall, not bringing anything new into the house, not worrying about a new outfit for some event, etc. surprisingly left a lot of time, mental space, and clarity. With this free time, space and clarity, I was able to dedicate my energy to more creative pursuits. I found myself doing more reading, baking, and blogging. I was spending more time doing fun (usually free) things outdoors, and taking more photos. Not shopping left us with more time, money, control, simplicity and joy.

The fast helped me honor our home more. There's a heightened appreciation of the things you already own when you're not figuring out what to do with more stuff in your house.  I "went shopping" in my own closet during the fast to come up with new outfits and made some cute combinations I never would've thought of before. We already have a lot of great things tied to great memories or great uses in our home. In today's spring cleaning, I got rid of anything that didn't fit the useful, beautiful, or joyful criteria. It was so rejuvenating, and I'm looking forward to only bringing things into our space that we mindfully choose, that are of good quality (Adios, Forever 21), and that we cherish.

{De-cluttering. Spring cleaning. Stuff to donate.}

The fast helped me appreciate the value of a dollar more. By using only cash, instead of swiping a card, there was a visual reminder of the money I earned leaving my hand. It made me sooo much more careful about how I spent. I mean, teaching is hard work. Did I really want to spend my hard-earned money on the more expensive paper towels? No. I cut back on pricier versions of almost everything.

The fast helped me realize I prefer to spend money on experiences, not things. Good meals out, happy hours, Pilates classes, good bottles of wine, flowers, manicures/pedicures (I missed those most!), Netflix rentals, buying ingredients for a really fantastic meal, etc. enrich my life greatly. Experiences are so much more rewarding than new stuff. This was such a personal epiphany - I didn't really know that pre-fast.

In this country of privilege and wealth, we get caught up in the race for stuff. We take things for granted. We start to believe indulgences are our rights. We think we are entitled to more because we work hard and because everyone else has more. There is pressure for conspicuous consumption. But I'm realizing there is emptiness in that thinking. There is emptiness in this disposable culture. Your expendable money shouldn't be filling your life with more stuff - that's stressful. Your expendable money should be making your life richer.

I hope this post doesn't come off as pedantic..? I've been deeply embedded in the race for stuff since forever, and was definitely not perfect on the fast (there were some cheats, there was using of the debit card when I was too lazy to go to the ATM) and I am definitely not free of my spending habits now. But I do feel a little more enlightened and surprisingly, I feel no compulsion to go out and buy.  I do have my eyes on some worthy treats, but will not buy them impulsively. Instead, I hope writing this post will keep some of the fast's virtuousness going so I don't revert to old ways. I plan to repeat the fast next year. In the meantime, I'll re-read this post as a sort of "check" when I'm thinking about purchasing something. I'll ask myself: Is it useful, beautiful, joyful? Does it enrich my life? Will I appreciate and cherish it? Is it worthy of my time, space and energy?

Hunger Anger

Ha! This reminds me of my husband and my best friend, but who hasn't been a hunger grouch. :)

Related: I forgot how ravenous the Paleo diet makes me; I'm hungry like the wolf about an hour after eating.

I'm making this Paleo chili colorado right now. It's smelling spicy delicious. I am so ready to eat, but chili at 10am seems wrong. . .

Update: The chili is delish, for Paleo and non-Paleo eaters alike! I recommend this recipe.

Poet Tweet

It's a cloudy morning, I have cozy cup of coffee in hand, Guiri is snuggled in bed with me, we're listening to Ray LaMontagne. I've spent the last hour trolling the interwebs for gossip, blog posts, Facebook updates and news (in that order). In my trolling, I found a little gem I'd like to share. 

I don't have a Twitter account - mainly because I can't understand #why #people #hashtag #every #thought #that #crosses #their #mind. It makes me #crazy - so I am slightly averse to Twitter, but I am not averse to these Twitter verses. This artist embroiders handkerchiefs with "poetry" she finds on Twitter. Below are some of her embroidered hankies. Some of the tweets are deep, some are hilarious, but all are 140 characters or less. :)

You can find more of her work here.

PS. Even though I'm not on Twitter, I like to check in on this page: The philosophy of Kierkegaard juxtaposed with always-wise tweets of Kim Kardashian - Kim Kierkegaardashian. Hilarious.

From Cupcakes to CrossFit

Out of Shape Woman Does CrossFit, Likes It

This just in: I went back to CrossFit this morning. It was a beating. And I liked it.

I got up at the crack of dawn to pay some buffster coach to force me to lift weights, do lunges, lift weights while doing lunges, run 800 meters, do more lunges, and do an unjustified amount of air squats. There were 4 of us in the session, and I was by far the worst. I don't care. CrossFit workouts make me feel like I'm going to puke, which makes me feel weak, but that barf-y feeling also makes me feel empowered. For the rest of the day I felt like if I could survive the morning, I could do anything. To prove it, I climbed a mountain. Okay, so maybe I didn't climb the whole mountain - my legs were tired.

{Cowles Mountain, San Diego}

Current Stats:
Weight: 143.6 lbs.
Body Mass Index: 22.5% (I used this calculator, not sure how accurate it is.)
Waist: 31.0 inches
Hip: 40.5 inches

I'll report back May 1st with new stats. In the meantime, mainly Paleo/Primal diet (with some alcohol, date night exceptions), and CrossFit 3xs a week. Yay for A Spring of Self-Improvement!

Weekending, Easter.

{Flavio and Silvia, Easter brunch 2013}

{Guiri, Coronado}

{Running errands. Dog is my co-pilot}

{Special Easter chewy}

When I uploaded these photos, I realized 3 out of 4 are pictures of my dog. I felt a little lame. Does anyone (besides me) care about another pic of my dog bounding down the beach? Why didn't I take better photos this weekend? And then I realized these photos are a sign of a fantastically restful three days. I have been mentally wound up and stressed this semester, so a quiet weekend of running mindless errands, baking, time outside in gorgeous spring weather, sushi, lounging in front of the TV, and a lovely Easter brunch with my mother-in-law was just what I needed. The weekend may not have produced the most exciting pics, but it did me some good.

It's Monday afternoon and I am giddy to be Off. This. Whole. Week. (!!!) On the Spring Break Itinerary: Hiking, reading, spring cleaning, Paleo cooking, a couple happy hours, beach with Guiri, Indian food with friends, oh..and Crossfit. I started this morning. It was tough, but good. More soon...  xo