Calling In Sick

I have the flu, I called in sick, and have been in an unnecessary shame spiral ever since. I am sick. I don't want to infect my students or co-workers. It's not good to teach when I barely have a voice. I need time to blow my nose every five seconds and hack violently in the privacy of my own home. And I need to continue sleeping 20 hours a day to beat this swinish flu. These are legitimate reasons for calling in sick. But every time I do (which is seldom),  I spend most of my sick days freaking out and feeling guilty that I'm some slacker; that I am alive and breathing so I should just get up, tough it out, head off to work with DayQuil in one hand and my red teacher pen in another, ready to teach valiantly despite illness!

Why don't I give myself a break? I think it's all those Perfect Attendance awards they had me vying for in elementary school. I feel like I'm not allowed to get sick, that I'm letting my students and supervisors down. But the truth is, the world will go on just fine without me and maybe forcing myself to slow down is a lesson in chilling out and just being kind to myself.

But wait..I don't think anyone is reading this, but just in case, this whole post might've come off wrong. This is not a humblebrag wherein I'm craftily trying to show you that I'm some hard working, admirable teacher who rarely gets sick/calls in sick and then whines about it when she does. I know it might look that way. And I am whining, but not humblebragging. That's not me and I hate when people spew false modesty or try to manipulate undeserved awws. Everyone gets sick and I definitely don't need sympathy for taking some time off. It's just me, thinking out loud about why I beat myself up for something as normal as getting sick / calling in sick. Is this making sense? Am I being paranoid?

No real answers yet. Just lots of DayQuil and febrile ramblings. Going back to bed.