Financial Fast 2013 - Reflecting

I spent the morning spring cleaning. Getting rid of things is such a satisfying feeling, don't you think?

After blogging about our Lenten Financial Fast for the past month and a half, it's time to bring some closure to the subject - at least for this year. I've held off on blogging about the fast because I wasn't sure how to adequately describe it. What I've come up with is this: It was honestly one of the best experiences for us as a couple, and for me personally. I know that sounds melodramatic. I mean, how could not buying non-essentials for 40 days be one of someone's "best experiences"? Here's how: Not shopping, not thinking about shopping, not spending time in the mall, not bringing anything new into the house, not worrying about a new outfit for some event, etc. surprisingly left a lot of time, mental space, and clarity. With this free time, space and clarity, I was able to dedicate my energy to more creative pursuits. I found myself doing more reading, baking, and blogging. I was spending more time doing fun (usually free) things outdoors, and taking more photos. Not shopping left us with more time, money, control, simplicity and joy.

The fast helped me honor our home more. There's a heightened appreciation of the things you already own when you're not figuring out what to do with more stuff in your house.  I "went shopping" in my own closet during the fast to come up with new outfits and made some cute combinations I never would've thought of before. We already have a lot of great things tied to great memories or great uses in our home. In today's spring cleaning, I got rid of anything that didn't fit the useful, beautiful, or joyful criteria. It was so rejuvenating, and I'm looking forward to only bringing things into our space that we mindfully choose, that are of good quality (Adios, Forever 21), and that we cherish.

{De-cluttering. Spring cleaning. Stuff to donate.}

The fast helped me appreciate the value of a dollar more. By using only cash, instead of swiping a card, there was a visual reminder of the money I earned leaving my hand. It made me sooo much more careful about how I spent. I mean, teaching is hard work. Did I really want to spend my hard-earned money on the more expensive paper towels? No. I cut back on pricier versions of almost everything.

The fast helped me realize I prefer to spend money on experiences, not things. Good meals out, happy hours, Pilates classes, good bottles of wine, flowers, manicures/pedicures (I missed those most!), Netflix rentals, buying ingredients for a really fantastic meal, etc. enrich my life greatly. Experiences are so much more rewarding than new stuff. This was such a personal epiphany - I didn't really know that pre-fast.

In this country of privilege and wealth, we get caught up in the race for stuff. We take things for granted. We start to believe indulgences are our rights. We think we are entitled to more because we work hard and because everyone else has more. There is pressure for conspicuous consumption. But I'm realizing there is emptiness in that thinking. There is emptiness in this disposable culture. Your expendable money shouldn't be filling your life with more stuff - that's stressful. Your expendable money should be making your life richer.

I hope this post doesn't come off as pedantic..? I've been deeply embedded in the race for stuff since forever, and was definitely not perfect on the fast (there were some cheats, there was using of the debit card when I was too lazy to go to the ATM) and I am definitely not free of my spending habits now. But I do feel a little more enlightened and surprisingly, I feel no compulsion to go out and buy.  I do have my eyes on some worthy treats, but will not buy them impulsively. Instead, I hope writing this post will keep some of the fast's virtuousness going so I don't revert to old ways. I plan to repeat the fast next year. In the meantime, I'll re-read this post as a sort of "check" when I'm thinking about purchasing something. I'll ask myself: Is it useful, beautiful, joyful? Does it enrich my life? Will I appreciate and cherish it? Is it worthy of my time, space and energy?

A Spring of Self-Improvement

{Monarch visitor to our house. Spring is metamorphosis time!}

Our financial fast ends this Saturday and Flavio and I declare the following:

We feel pretty great about the whole enterprise and don't want to see it end.

I'm looking forward to writing a complete reflection on the fast soon but in the meantime, I'll just say it's been an awesome exercise in mindfulness. We're going to keep the fast going beyond Lent with a less-strict version. I'd highly recommend a financial fast for all.

In the spirit of mindfulness (and because I love projects), I have another declaration:

Let this be a Spring of Self-Improvement! A spring cleaning for the house, body, and spirit.

In addition to keeping our financial fast going, we're/I'm welcoming spring with the following challenges:

** Major spring cleaning of our house. Donating and getting rid of stuff. Inspired by this article.

** 30 days of Paleo/Primal eating: April 1- 30. We like to do 30 days of paleo a couple times a year to re-examine what we're eating. We notice that when we're not eating grains, we tend to eat more veggies and whole foods.

** I'm doing it. I am going back to CrossFit. Reason: Winter brought a steady diet of wine and baked goods, and I need to wear a bathing suit in public soon. I start April 1. Eeeks!

Let the self-improvement continue...

{My husband at CrossFit. This will be me in 30 days.}

Half-Birthday Wishes

Do you celebrate your half-birthday? I do. It's the less-pressure, just-for-you birthday where there's no getting stressed or birthday-shy. Yes, we're on our financial fast, but I'm fantasizing about one day shopping again. What better excuse than my half-birthday? Well, a girl can dream..

I always treat myself for my half-birthday (May 18), but usually with something small like a mani/pedi or a special treat from Anthro. If I win the lottery, here are a few other things I'd buy right now.

Currently coveting:

A cozy spring cardi that adds a pop of color
A yellow KitchenAid - my stand mixer broke last week! Nooooo.
Lionel Richie tea mug - to remind me to up my green tea intake
Obsessed with this flip clock for the kitchen
A spring-y Anthro dress
These Parisian wedges

Gibigianna & Other Marvelous Words

I like to get lost in the "strange and lovely words"on Otherwordly, a Tumblr which pays homage to wondrous, mysterious, and sometimes inspiring words. I see myself, and want to see myself, in the following wordsmithery:

{Unfortunately, this is me. I can't hide my emotions, despite serious effort.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.}

{Yep. Not a good dancer, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it!}

{Sigh. Well, this was me pre-financial fast.}

{I aspire to be a quaintrelle.}

{I aspire to be a gibigianna.}

{Inspiring.}

Lentils for Fasting

We're 22 days into our Lenten financial fast and one thing I've learned: Living frugally can mean eating richly. Not all-you-can eat-lobster eating richly, but the kind of meals that when prepared with love, taste comforting and rich, even when the ingredients are as humble as..well, lentils.

For our financial fast, lentils really fit the bill. They're cheap, quick to make, and perfect for meatless Fridays. And they're so versatile! Red, brown, green, French, -- as long as they're in bulk, we don't discriminate. Flavio just wings their preparation: He'll throw some miripoix or leafy greens in the pot with a good stock and see what happens. Experimentation is not my strong suit: I love the structure of a good recipe. And of all the recipes we've tried, we agree - this Coconut Red-Lentil Curry recipe is the holy grail of Lenten lentil recipes thus far. We served it with some garlic naan from Trader Joe's and a nice white wine, and yum...

Can I get an Amen?

Impulse Buy: Daffodils

{daffodils and twine}

{entryway daffodils}

{kitchen window}

I confess: I violated the rules of the financial fast and impulsively bought these daffodils after work today. In my defense: They were 3 big bunches for $5, I paid cash, and they light up our home and brighten the mid-week mood. 

Happy March.

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils. 

"Daffodils" by William Wordsworth

My Mom's Best Marriage Advice

Flavio and I have been together for 12 years. Whaat?!! Crazytown. And like any couple that's been together forever, you start getting lazy. We've got at least 50 years ahead of us and I want to keep the sparks flying, so we're going back to the best marriage advice my mom ever gave me: Go on a date night once a week.

My man is on board and we're starting today.

But this time we're doing things a little differently. This week, we're meeting AT the restaurant. Why, you ask? Because when we get home from work and get ready to go out together, we're usually in a rush to walk and feed the dog, put on deodorant, put on make-up, change clothes, I get in my Spanx and Flavio sees all my Victoria's no-longer-Secret underwear, Flavio brushes, gargles and spits and, alas... Marriage trumps Romance.

To change things up and set the tone for romance, we're meeting @ Alexander's in North Park for a post-work Italian dinner. I'm excited to get dressed up alone, spot him across the candlelit room, maybe at the bar, walk up and give him a kiss, and rekindle our courting days, once a week. Amore!

PS. We budgeted weekly date nights into our financial fast.

Gloomy with a Chance of Meatballs

Sometimes, when I've had a rough one, I make soup. I like to drown my woes in chopped onion, sauteed carrots and soothing broth. Today was just the kind of day that required post-work stewing, so I poured good wine, put on Thievery Corporation, simmered in my funk, and made soup.

Ugh..today was a doozy. I woke up late and got in the car to find a near-empty gas tank. I rushed to the gas station, buzzed off to Coronado where I teach my morning class, parked, and then realized I forgot to bring my tote bag. My tote that has the handouts, the book, and everything I need to teach my class. I teach at two campuses and have a tote bag for each one. Somehow, I brought the wrong tote. I sat in my car yelling, "Shit!!" repeatedly and tried to figure out if I could possibly wing class without everything I needed. Finally, I decided I couldn't, called the college to tell them I would be late, and hauled ass back over the Coronado bridge to go home for my bag. I got the damned bag, booked it back over the bridge to the Navy base and arrived late to class, flustered and pissy. I am a hyper-punctual person, so this was very upsetting to me. I just couldn't shake the mood for the rest of my classes, for the rest of the day. Weekend: Are you here yet? ..Almost!

First world problems, I know.

So, after an intensely grumpy day, I popped in to Trader Joe's (with a list and cash), took Guiri on a long, head-clearing walk, and made soup. I have a ton of soup recipes I love, but Ina Garten's Italian Wedding Soup is easy and just the comfort I needed tonight. (Ina, you are so deliciously reliable!) The meatballs in this recipe are my go-to for pasta and for meatball sandwiches, except I make my 'balls with ground turkey and spicy Italian sausage and let me tell you, they are amaaazing. Yes, my 'balls are amazing! (I'm immature like that.) So I used my version of Ina's 'balls, left out the pasta and spinach because I didn't have them on hand, and followed the rest of her recipe pretty closely.

The soup was delicious!  I served it with lots of wine and a gorgonzola-pear-walnut salad and enjoyed the company of my husband. We kissed, we ate, we chatted and laughed and I felt so much better. It's good, this marriage thing.

Tomorrow is a new day.

{mirepoix}

{my 'balls}

{love this guy}

Financial Fast

{rural chapel - Oaxaca, Mexico}

I know I can't out-do the Pope (Holy Quit! as Jon Stuart exclaimed), and I know Lent started last Wednesday, but I haven't had a chance to post about this year's Lenten sacrifice until now.

I was raised Catholic, but am not religious. Spiritual, but not religious. I prefer to live my life through the wise words of the Dalai Lama, "My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness."

But Lent is a wonderful time of year. A chance to cut back on the indulgences and the decadence of the holidays, an opportunity to re-assess and re-group in a new year, a time to usher in the re-birth of spring with the mindfulness of a personal cleanse that I think is a healthy practice for all.

This year, Flavio and I decided to make a Lenten sacrifice together: we are doing a Financial Fast.  My husband and I were raised in very different financial circumstances. He grew up low-income and I with too much. I spend liberally while he is conservative. As with most couples, money is our major difference.

We spent most of our 20s traveling the world with a We Only Live Once! mentality and while traveling is still a long-term priority, someday we'd like to buy one of San Diego's overpriced homes, pay off all credit card and student loan debt, and have a healthy savings in the bank. To make these things happen, we need to spend some time in our 30s getting serious about our joint money management.

Here's the plan:

:: We made a full budget to track our net income, our expenses, and our debt. We have a budget for the 40 days of Lent we're going to stick to it!

:: Use only cash (no plastic) for every single purchase.

:: Total shopping hiatus. No shopping. This means deleting all Anthro emails and tossing the Anthro catalogue before reading. No window shopping. No Forever 21 binges. No trips to Target or Trader Joe's unless we have a list of essentials, a budget, and cash in hand.

:: Record every single purchase that is not deemed essential (i.e., cheats). I will keep a running tally of any cheats and will post on my blog at the end.

:: Essential purchases include food, toiletries, gas, etc. -- necessities only. Extra bottle of wine at the grocery store? No. Mani/Pedi? No. Starbucks? No.  Essentials only.

:: Planned exceptions -- Go out for our First Date Anniversary (March 15) and other date nights as that enhances our relationship significantly and is important to us. Go out for friend birthday weekend on March 2. Date nights/eating out NO MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK.  All planned exceptions will have a pre-arranged budget that we must stick to! And we will pay for these planned exceptions in cash.

:: Meatless Fridays -- Good for the body and the environment.

Full re-cap after the end of Lent (March 30).

Let the deliberate simplicity begin.